A Jedi's Pain
by Logan GC
Summary: Alone and in exile on Tatooine, Obi-Wan contemplates how everything turned into a nightmare.


**Author's Notes** : I do not own anything related to **Star Wars**. All characters and respective media belong to **George Lucas** , **20** **th** **Century Fox** , and **Disney**. Story takes place immediately after the events of _Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith_. Enjoy.

With a weary sigh, Obi-Wan Kenobi finally completed his hut in the Jundland Wastes of Tatooine after giving the boy to Owen and Beru Lars. Taking little more than a day to build his new home, the former Jedi Master entered and sat on the floor. Closing his eyes, the auburn-haired Jedi still couldn't believe the nightmare that became reality.

The Sith had won. The Jedi Order, his brothers and sisters who were raised besides him his entire life, were slaughtered by their own soldiers under their command. But that was nothing compared to the fate of his former Padawan, friend, and brother.

Anakin. Obi-Wan practically raised him as a son when he was accepted into the Order at nine years old. He promised Qui-Gon in his dying breath that Anakin would be a great Jedi. Obi-Wan remembered all the times they bickered back and fourth, he remembered rolling his eyes at Anakin doing juvenile pranks at the Temple. He remembered all the times Anakin saved his life on missions considered too dangerous for two Jedi to handle alone. Obi-Wan remembered a great man, who would do anything to protect his friends and everyone else he cared about.

That same man turned to the Dark Side, bowing before the Sith Lord the Jedi Order has searched for in the entire war. Watching the security hologram with Master Yoda, Obi-Wan denied it. It couldn't have been Anakin. Anakin wouldn't have attacked the Temple, slaughtering his fellow Jedi. Anakin couldn't have killed all those Younglings.

Obi-Wan remembered Master Yoda's words. _"The boy you trained, gone he is, consumed by Darth Vader."_

But even then, Obi-Wan still couldn't believe it. The Jedi Master hoped that Padmé, Anakin's secret wife, would help him see reason for what he has done. Instead, the Jedi watched as Anakin choked his pregnant wife in his rage, rendering her unconscious. Obi-Wan had to fight his former friend, defending himself as Anakin attempted to hack him to pieces. His friend, his brother…

Even when Obi-Wan had the high ground, begging Anakin to stop this duel before it was too late, his friend tried to kill him. Obi-Wan had no choice, dismembering the same person who looked at him with hopeful blue eyes when he was nine and alone. Seeing at what Anakin forced him to do, Obi-Wan just snapped.

Being raised as a Jedi his entire life, Obi-Wan has been taught to control his emotions. Though, he cried when Qui-Gon died in his arms. His heart shattered when Satine died on Mandalore. And now, after losing so much, Obi-Wan screamed at Anakin for his actions. For joining the Dark Side, for taking part in this madness.

Anakin's eyes, once deep blue turned harsh yellow as the Dark Side consumed him. Seeing the hatred aimed at him, Obi-Wan remembered the words his former friend said to him. The words that finally broke his spirit.

 _"I hate you!"_

When Anakin spat those words, Obi-Wan felt his entire world collapsed. The Jedi only replied that Anakin was his brother… and loved him like one. He watched as Anakin caught aflame by the lava bed, seeing the brief amount of fear and regret in his eyes as the fire consumed him. Obi-Wan can still hear his agonizing screams, even so far from Mustafar.

With a gasp, Obi-Wan opened his eyes. Feeling his left cheek wet, he traced his hand over it. It was a tear.

Being raised as a Jedi, emotions such as grief, regret, and sadness were taught to be suppressed and controlled. Those emotions only held back a Jedi's spiritual connection to the Force. As the Jedi Code would say; There is no emotion, there is peace.

But now, alone and in exile, Obi-Wan allowed these emotions to spill out. He allowed choked sobs to escape his throat. He allowed tears to spill from his eyes.

He failed Anakin. He failed his promise with Qui-Gon. And because of those failures, the Jedi Order he lived and served his entire life perished.

Here, this man crying isn't a respected member of the Jedi Order. This man crying isn't a high-ranked general of the Grand Army of the Republic.

Here, this man crying is a man who lost everything he held dear.


End file.
